Wares from a dubious flyer on a telephone pole
- A pile of soldier medals or something. I think a few of them might be actual gold.
- Cosplay as a badass soldier at your favorite anime convention!
- A collection of antique tobacco pipes. Usage not limited to cobalt.
- Mystery Key-ring.
- Keys to a variety of unknown locks/vehicles. For the surprise lover.
- Pro Bowling Set:
- Ball with matching bag.
- Gently used wrist protector.
- 3rd place trophy from 1986 city tournament.
- Mystery Medicine Bag
- An assortment of medications in boxes, bottles, and cases.
- Guaranteed to be no more than 50% over-the-counter.
- Some drugs require refrigeration, so act quickly!
- Vintage Love Letters
- Come in a nice carved oak case.
- Risque B&W photos and steamy subtext abound!
- Some are postmarked from WW2.
- A Slightly Scratched Sony Walkman
- Play all your favorite audio tapes!
- Think of it as being like the iPod’s great grandpa. People still use iPods, right?
- Thief Toolkit
- A box full of picks, bolt-cutters, sheers, etc.
- Seriously, I musta burgled a burglar or something. You can’t put a price on irony like that!
- 200 Gallons of Grease
- Carefully siphoned from the dumpster behind a Wendy’s.
- Clearance price on account of rancidity/odor.
- Innumerable uses:
- Nutrition!
- Practical Jokes!
- Making a Grease Skating Rink!
- Organic Motor Oil Substitute!
Act fast and don’t miss out on these once-in-a-lifetime deals! Serious offers only!
One response to “For Sale By Burglar”
[…] Also, I’m shocked to note that I haven’t written a single satirical post yet! What’s wrong with me? I was really hoping to go for a 50/50 mix of serious/humorous. Well, no time like today! […]