I think I stumbled across this book in a Humble Bundle. It was a lucky find. I ain’t gonna lie. This is a subject I find very difficult at times. I have a tendency at times to brood on disagreement. But at the very least, this book offers some pointers.

One fundamental thing the book stresses is to remember other people’s humanity, other people’s worth. In my terminology, that would be their God Given Dignity, or GGD. The book is not overtly religious, but it’s in no way at odds with a religious perspective.

One thing the book takes us to task for is what it calls “Disrespectful Agreement”. This is when you don’t really agree, but for whatever reason, express agreement anyway. Jones-Fosu attacks this as being disrespectful both to the other person and to you yourself.

He also makes some good points about how our experiences shape us. We see the world through a subjective lens. If you just can’t see eye-to-eye with somebody on something, it might well simply be that you’ve lived different lives. If you had walked in their shoes, maybe you’d be saying the same thing.

I also liked the point Jones-Fosu makes about seeking out the gray, nuanced areas. There are a lot of issues that aren’t nearly as black and white as the talking heads would have you believe, and even people who take differing core positions can still often find plenty of peripheral stuff they do agree about.

The one other thing the book touched on that I think is good to point out is about fairness. We have an awful tendency to make assumptions about people we don’t know. That’s unfair to them. And we also have a tendency to judge those we disagree with more harshly than we would, were they in agreement. The author refers to this as our “circles of grace”, where we tend to make excuses for people we like, but cut others no slack. That is, again, unfair. Unhealthy too.

In closing, I recommend this book. Weighing in at just over 200, relatively light pages, it’s not long or dense. I also find the writing style appealing. It’s casual and conversational. That said, the subject matter is hard. We all have things we’re extremely passionate about, and it can be difficult to accept when others don’t feel the same way. But we owe it to ourselves to try and at least ask “why not?”.

In closing, I thought I’d leave with a song. Back in 1977, Dave Mason and Jim Krueger gave us a great song called We Just Disagree. It’s specifically about a breakup, but the sentiment is great, with its repeated proclamation that “There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy”.